infrequently asked questions

how fast can you climb a tree?

remarkably fast. i am very quick and strong

when did you start taking photos?

i don’t think that’s any of your business

what fictional character would you challenge to a fist fight?

dwayne “the rock” johnson

are you my dad?

please stop trying to contact me

what do you do with the festering pit of primordial rage inside of you?

feed it chunks of canned pineapple and hope it settles down